Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Traci Hubbard

One morning a woman asked, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? The mirror replied, "Don’t come any closer. Objects in the mirror are as worn out as they appear".

Most of us treat mirrors like trusted friends — unless it’s early morning, and fluorescent lighting is involved. Then suddenly, the mirror feels more like a prophet telling uncomfortable truths. This morning is the first Sunday of Lent, and we will be taking an honest look into the mirror of our light and our dark, acknowledging not just the lipstick clean shaven version of ourselves, but also our shadows.

First, we will begin by admitting our need to see clearly what we need to address, and I encourage us to do this without entertaining shame on our journeys. Why? The mirror is blessed in its reflection because the Spirit, the face of Divine Love, is looking back at us, and there are times when it is difficult for us to believe this is true.

In Matthew’s Gospel the Lover of our souls gives us our first step, a spiritual direction on how to begin our journey, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… Blessed are those who mourn…”

When Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount, He doesn’t say, “Blessed are the impressive, the achievers, the Masters of something.” Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Folks, this is holy mirror language. To be poor in spirit is to look honestly at our reflection and admit, “There is something I need to see because I know that I don’t see everything.” And then Jesus reminds us, “Blessed are those who mourn” — not just mourning loss, but mourning sin…a word we don’t like to use in the United Church, so let’s remind ourselves of what “sin” means. To sin means to miss the mark with our intentions, our aim, our true desires. Jesus reminds us to pull into a rest top on our journey and take time to mourn the gap between who we are, and who LOVE is shaping us to be.

Let’s look at a story about David, not King David, just regular 9-to-5 clock in and clock out David. He was celebrated at church as dependable. At work, he was respected. At home, he was short-tempered, especially when he was tired.

One night, after shouting at his daughter for spilling her juice, he caught his reflection in the dining room window. He was surprised at the expression on his face, but what took his breath away was his posture, his tone, and the tension he created. The next evening after our Council meeting, David asked me for a few minutes alone and he shared what had happened. After he told me, he hung his head and said, “That was the first time I saw my father alive in me, and I promised myself I would never be like him.”

That moment for David hurt deeply, but it wasn’t shame he was feeling, it was mourning, but don’t miss this, it was also blessing. It was a blessing because the mirror wasn’t condemning him, it was inviting him to change his interior direction. Friends, when the Spirit of LOVE looks into our eyes and convicts us, reveals to us something we cannot see on our own, it is not for our humiliation, it is an invitation to transformation. And only holy LOVE can send out such a sweet and tender invitation.

Once we acknowledge what we have discovered in ourselves and invited LOVE to help us change, we are given another direction on our journey. We are invited to turn inward and look for what is growing in our reflection, our transformation. We are invited to visit our interior garden and see if there are any fruits of the Spirit growing and being offered to others. We are invited to ask someone we love and trust to tell us the truth, “Please share with me how my life, my energy, my ways of being, bear any fruits of the Spirit.”

Jesus reminds us in Matthew’s gospel that we will know someone is honestly walking in humility and evolving into LOVE’s refection because we “will recognize them by their fruits.” Our recognition is not so we can pass judgement on the places they are struggling. Our recognition is to be discerning in choosing the people with whom we spend most of our time. This principle is of key importance when we ask someone to volunteer in in a lay leadership role in our congregation. Jesus says beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Not everything that looks spiritual is a true healthy reflection of who someone is. And here’s a hard morsel to swallow, sometimes the wolf isn’t “out there.”

Sometimes it’s in here, in our hearts. So, our mirror question morphs into, “What fruit is growing in my life?” The good news is, we don’t have to guess what kind of fruit we are looking for, because LOVE gives us a list of fruits in Paul’s letter to the church in Galatia. Traci, look for Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control. Do you see these fruits in the selfie filter of the Spirit, or are you still using a filter that hides your blemishes? The mirror of the Spirit asks this question because the Holy knows that when we are sincere in our desire to evolve into the ways of Jesus, the mirror of LOVE will reveal our shadows too. Resentment. Envy. Meanness. Impatience. Untrustworthy. Undisciplined. Self-serving behavior. Passive aggression disguised in words like “I’m just being honest.” As our orchard growers here today can attest, we can hang apples on a dead tree, but eventually somebody’s going to notice they have been glued on to our branches, who we really are. We lie to ourselves if we believe the fruits of the Spirit can be manufactured in our outside ways of showing up.

The fruits of our evolution are grown from our inside where we walk with LOVE, and they burst out of us because LOVE cannot be contained, only freely and joyfully shared. Still, we need to remember that growth means dealing with the shadow roots of pride, fear, and insecurity.

And if we are courageous enough to dig deep, we discover an encouraging reminder from the Spirit that we have put away, laid down, our old reflection because we “have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that we may bear fruit for God.” Paul’s teaching is radical because it reminds us that the old me, the old you, we are meant to improve, called to die to our intentions, our ways, so we can prune away our rotten or pretend fruit and begin again.

Friends, this is the grace in the law. Jesus and the writer of Hebrews show us that as humans, we will never be able perfectly all the policies and procedures, the rules of any human society, so when we miss the mark, when we fail, we are reminded to return to the mercy seat of LOVE and begin living in grace again.

We live in a self-improvement culture. Everywhere we turn we read or hear there are only five steps to a better you or seven hidden hacks to improve our lives. But these external short cuts to living a whole/holy interior and exterior life do not offer their warning labels like commercials for new prescriptions do in the quickest voice possible.

The heart of LOVE, the ways of Jesus, offer us a vastly different prescription with only one side effect… resurrection. Folks, we are not encouraged to go home and clean our mirrors, polish our old reflection. LOVE, grace and mercy, are inviting us to surrender it.

Remember spilled juice David? He realized his anger was rooted in and nurtured by fear of being like his father. He feared losing control. What did he do? David stopped trying to “manage his temper” by himself. He laid down what he could not control and confessed his deepest fears to his eternal source. David began practicing praying before entering his home, and before he knew it, he was inwardly walking and talking with the HOLY all through his day. He learned what a heartfelt apology was and how living in his words with humility and gratitude paved a way back for the hearts he had hurt to forgive him and trust him again. His old reflexes, his childish reactions, began dying and from the ashes of his old reflection, his countenance became gentle, and the fruits of the Spirit began blooming beyond anything he could control. David gave his inward hurt little boy to the Spirit, and she nurtured and healed his wounds.

This is beautiful encouragement for all of us. The church leaders in Corinth really needed to hear these directions, because their old ways of being reflected the Red-Light District in Amsterdam, even during church services. Like a gentle father discerning and feeling the shame their child is feeling after making a selfish or hurtful choice, he reminds the people what love is and how it shows up in our hearts and in our actions.

At the end of his teaching, he reminds them, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child… For now, we see in a mirror dimly…” The Spirit reminds us that we can only see pieces and parts of our reflection right now, because our vision is limited. And it’s okay if our reflection today looks distorted to us. Remember, ancient mirrors were not glass, they were polished metal. Blurry and unable to perfectly reflect our image. Sometimes we think spiritual transformation, spiritual maturity, means pretending we have arrived at our destination, so we can take time away from tending our hearts. Our human experience as eternals souls has never been arriving at a destination, a heaven beyond.

It has always been about the experience of remembering the LOVE we forgot along our way and asking the Spirit to walk with us again. Being mature means being honest because dishonesty with ourselves and others never saves face. It turns our interior into the picture of Dorian Gray that continued to shrivel with horrific age, revealing what was growing in his heart.

“When I was a child…” Children blame. Adults reflect. Children hide. Adults seek the truth and confess when they find it. Children defend. Adults change. The good news? LOVE always sees us clearly and loves what She is shaping.

So, here is the push and pull. If we only see our strengths, we become prideful. If we only see our shadows, we become ashamed. Grace empowers us to hold both. I am poor in spirit. I mourn my sin. And I see what needs pruning. And while I journey, I will remember I am loved. I am being renewed. The Spirit is growing something beautiful.

The mirror of LOVE never asks us, “Who’s the fairest of them all?” The reflection of LOVE tells us, “You are Mine. Now let’s get to work on that impatience branch sticking out of your eye.”

When we look in the mirror, we may see our shadow, but we never lose our LIGHT. Why is the Mirror of Love honest? Because LOVE doesn’t keep anything from us. May we leave here today knowing the Spirit will always reflect grace and mercy back to us one honest look in the mirror of LOVE at a time. May it be so, amen.